This week I lost my grandma, Natalie Girbino. I know this blog is about food and I rarely get into anything too personal, but to know my grandma is to understand where my love for and appreciation of food comes from. Without her influence, there is no doubt that my life would be completely different. And I wanted to take a few minutes to honor her memory and her impact.

My grandma was not the typical grandmother type, and we did not have the typical grandchild/grandparent relationship. She was an amazing, courageous, spirited, generous and  witty woman. She loved life, she loved family and she loved food.

My great grandfather came to this country from Sicily when he was 13 and started selling produce on a wagon downtown. Years later, he would open Paolo Volpe & Sons produce in the Northern Ohio Food Terminal, which he started. My gram, who was the only — and oldest –  one of her 7 siblings to graduate high school (something she was incredibly determined to do), worked as his bookkeeper for years, driving down in the middle of the night to the terminal. She loved every minute of it. Working alongside her dad and brothers, being a part of this operation and having her own independence. I believe this is also where appreciation of food began to take shape.

My gram had an amazing sense of style and loved fashion – she never owned a pair of jeans or tennis shoes. She didn’t see the point. Even when she was cooking, she looked like she could be on TV with her trademark pink apron and pearls. She had quite the purse collection (of which I now share and inherited some seriously fun and retro bags) and loved to dress up. She would tell me stories of how they used to get all dolled up to go shopping, dinner, etc. Today’s loss of style on these types of occasions always bothered her. She wore fancy hats and looked like a movie star. I would sit and study all her old photographs from various places around Cleveland. What I would give to spend a week in our city during that time alongside her strolling the streets.

Her house was a magical place. I can still picture every inch of her home on Stillmore and the smells of cutlets and sauce that would hit you as soon as you opened the car door. She was incredibly immaculate yet never made us feel like we couldn’t run around and enjoy being kids. I loved sleeping over in the summer and did so religiously. She’d take me to Woolworths’s (the dime store) or May Co. in her 1979 Oldsmobile that never wore and she kept until the mid-1990s. We’d listen to Julio Inglesias for hours on her porch (she used to say he could put his slippers under her bed anytime!), play gin rummy and she’d teach me how to cook and make things for myself. I have years of amazing memories from that house – especially all the Christmas Eve’s we spent there, all of us cousins having a ball. I didn’t care about gifts – I just loved that we were all together. Many of these same traditions carried on as she moved into her apartment when she could no longer manage the house.

To this day, I’m not even sure if my grandma actually liked to cook. I think she did, but I know for certain that what she liked more was what the food represented. She absolutely cherished and adored her family. She wanted us together all the time, whether it was around her dining room table or a restaurant’s. And she knew food was the way to celebrate these relationships and bring us together. Her sauce and meatballs, spiedini, lima bean soup and pizzelles are legendary. She taught me how to make the pizzelles and spiedini and wouldn’t let up until I perfected them.

My parents divorced when I was around 9. I never knew my dad after this or his side of the family. My grandpa died when I was little, too, so grandma was really the only grandparent I ever had. But she was more to me than that – she truly was my friend. We had a one-of-a-kind bond that I will cherish forever. We’d talk and visit several times a week. She loved knowing everything going on in my life and gave the best advice. She was quite modern and liberal in her thinking for her age in many ways and loved to tell me stories from her own experiences for me to dwell from and learn. She was proud of us, wanted us to never settle and believed in us wholeheartedly, even when we always didn’t. She never cared about herself or her needs, but what would make others happy. She had grace and class, even in her last days.

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew if I was lucky enough to have a daughter one day I’d want to name her Natalie in honor of my grandma. When that time came, Jamie couldn’t agree with me more because he was just as in love with my gram as I was. I am so very blessed to have had my grandma for 34 years. That she saw me graduate college, grow into a career that makes me happy, meet Jamie and witness our wedding, and get to know her namesake. Not many people can say that, and for that, I am one of the lucky ones.

To say that it will be weird to not have her around is an understatement. There will definitely be a void that can’t be replaced. But she left us with years upon years of memories that make me smile and laugh, recipes that will be cooked and baked for years to come, stories that will be passed down and a spirit that will live on in my daughter.

Years ago we got on the subject of heaven. I asked my grandma what she felt heaven would be like.  She paused, then said  she’s not sure but  knows that when it’s her time, she’s going to pour herself a scotch (or PBR) and float on past Julio Inglesias’ bedroom and spend some time peaking in.

I have no doubt that’s exactly where she is – and with a very big smile!

Grandma Natalie’s Breadcrumbs

My gram’s breadcrumbs were the foundation of many of her recipes, from her meatballs, to breaded green beans and paper-thin cutlets. She believed strongly that, under no circumstance, should a person buy or use store bought breadcrumbs (the same rule applies to sauce). She felt this was the easiest thing to make and could be stored in the freezer for months. I wish I could share all her recipes with you, but I can’t since some are just for family. But try this the next time you need breadcrumbs. And I’ll tell you what my gram always told me – make sure you buy good quality grating cheese, it makes all the difference in the world. She would only use grated Romano from Alesci’s in South Euclid.